I feel like there is a lot of resistance to growing up, being independent and being in control of your life. Since the term ‘adulting’ was coined, the concept of taking responsibility of your life has been reduced to nothing more than a meme. The art of growing up is slowly being lost amidst the artisanal toast of modern society.
Now don’t get me wrong, there is nothing bad about a good meme or artisanal toast but getting caught up in the self-deprecating trend of ‘I will never adult’ is a dangerous thing. So let me tell you the story of how the universe gave me a slap to the face and told me to get my butt into gear.
2018 has been a wild ride. I started off a uni student with a part time job. I got engaged in April, went on my first big overseas trip in June, graduated in July, started a full time job in August, had my engagement party in September, started negotiations for our first house lease in October, and I have surgery booked in for November. It’s been intense but in the best way possible and the universe has taken every opportunity to give me a push. But so you’re not trapped here all night, let me outline just a few of the key checkpoints that have led me ever closer to levelling up to adulthood.
Checkpoint 1: Planning a wedding
One of the things a lot of people dread about being an adult is booking appointments and making calls to get things done. I don’t know what it is but for some reason it seems to stress out a lot of people my age. Planning a wedding has forced me to overcome this fear. There’s a lot of things to pull together in a limited amount of time and a lot of people to work with. You have your own image in your head of how you want your day to go and it is your responsibility to do what it takes to bring that image to life. For me, planning my wedding has made me more confident with telling people what I want, asking the right questions and just getting things done.
Image: Screenshot of my Wedding Pinterest board
Checkpoint 2: Navigating a full time job
Transitioning from uni to full time work was weird. It felt like I had so much time and yet no time at all. I would come home and have the night to myself, with no pressure to do assignments or study. Yet, I felt like by the time I came home, had dinner and prepared for the next day, my whole day was over and it was time for bed. It was the strangest feeling, wanting to be productive but feeling like I had no time to do anything. This forced me to really portion out my time and push for productivity. Free time to be productive wasn’t something that just fell into my lap like it did at uni. I had to actively find the time and make the most of it once it was found. Adult life will only get busier. But at least now I know how to handle it.
Checkpoint 3: Driving to inspect a house with a sick fiance
Sounds oddly specific, I know.
Until recently, I had a crippling fear of driving and let me tell you, one cannot ‘adult’ if they cannot get places. I had three routes that I wasn’t terrified of driving and one of them, I was only okay to do later at night when I knew the roads weren’t busy.
But a couple of weeks ago, I was with my fiance and I was driving us to and from a house inspection. A new route. Myles was feeling really unwell in the passenger seat and something in me took over. I had a sudden confidence when I realised I was the one who had to get us through; my fear left completely. I was dealing with all sorts distractions and worries to do with my sick passenger and I still managed to navigate a lot of the way home using signs instead of google maps (I know that’s not much but it’s a big deal for me. Paired with my fear of driving is a severe lack of confidence in my own navigation skills). People have a habit of growing up and being able to get through when they have to. Sometimes we just need a push.
Image: The appropriate way to ‘adult’.
It’s been a wild year but I’m grateful to the universe for giving me that shove. Life feels so much better when you quit protesting the inevitable transition to ‘adulting’ and just do it.
How has the universe pushed you?
~ Alice Maisie